“You should write a blog,” they said. “You’re so funny, and such a good writer,” they said.
“Yeah,” I thought. “I should write a blog!” After being fed a steady diet of Facebook ‘likes’ for years, I was feeling pretty secure that this endeavor would be welcomed with equal enthusiasm by my friends. So on February 14th, I thought I’d show myself the love by putting this pet project into motion. I spent the day carefully selecting a template, upgrading my Word Press account, thinking about what I wanted to say, and then writing my very first post. Okay, I stopped at one point to watch the Walking Dead mid-season premiere, but before the night was over, I’d published my post and shared the link on facebook, proud that I’d accomplished a goal. Then I waited for the kudos and likes to come rolling in…
(crickets)
After a solid eight hours of labor, the baby I’d birthed was getting some modest pats on the head, but it was far from being cooed and fawned over. Every parent thinks their child is beautiful, don’t they? And no one wants to tell you your child is homely.
OMG. Was I the lady with the ugly baby???
I called a few people and asked for some honest feedback. One friend found my anatomical references a bit much. (Okay, fair enough.) My mother was not exactly embracing the title or my play on words, and she let me know in no uncertain terms that colonoscopies were no joke. “But it’s funny,” I said. “It’s like, when life gets tough, it’s time to reevaluate your sh*t. See?” I could practically hear her clutching her chest as she replied, “Please tell me you did not use that word!” No, I didn’t. But I wanted to. And I might in the future.
I didn’t think it was my best work ever, but it was a start. And the Sally Field in me really wanted it to be liked.
“She has a cute face. Maybe if she did something with her hair?”
Who was I writing this for, anyway? Primarily, me. I have felt like a writer who wasn’t writing, and I wanted to change that. So I’m doing it. I’m seeking out more ways to channel that creativity, and make it a habit, not an occasional blip on the radar. But this blog is not just about frequency and quantity, it’s about quality, too. I want to become a BETTER writer. Opening myself up to feedback, comments, and critique is part of that. Writing in a journal that nobody sees is undoubtedly beneficial and therapeutic, but writing for an audience can lead to even more personal and professional growth. That’s what I’m after. Growth.
Speaking of growth, are my roots looking really bad?
Wait. Don’t answer that.
Bolenoscopy 
There are no ugly babies: beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I for one think your baby is quite becoming!
You are very kind! Even the ugliest duckling can become a swan, right? XOXO
Your insights and musings are refreshing! Keep it up. I like the name of the blog and I thing you should definitely use the word “shit” on occasion.
I just plain love you, friend. Hugs.
Keep it goin’.
That’s the plan! Thanks, Woody.
Realizing you are writing for yourself yet at the same time seeking feedback to grow sounds like a great start. Bolonscopy is a great title (even if gross and graphic) for your blog because it shows that you take the sh*t life sends your way and try to make meaning out of it.; this is really what memoir is all about. This gives you a focus, but at the same time isn’t too narrow.
After 3 years, I find myself stuck with “Meandering Maya;” however, I am to the point I want to be more deliberate and want to meander less. Good luck! Remember, too, Michele, if you’re writing for yourself to make meaning out of the junk of life, that the practice of writing and reflecting is more important than having a perfect product. Let go of your perfectionist tendencies and give your words a place to live. Just get your thoughts out of your head and into the words as you embark on this Bolenscopic adventure.
And Mom, it’s okay. Your sweet daughter is just making lemonade out of lemons without being trite. While I agree that she might be a bit more graphic than necessary, I have to agree with Michele that life has thrown a great deal of sh*t her way. Even with cynical undertones, Michele continues to work through the crap of life with hopefulness and positivity. I read her posts about Leanne to my 8-year-old daughter, and we cheered you on as a family. So graphic, yes. Trite, no. Moving (no pun intended), yes.
Michele, in March when I write daily, I learn to be less about the craft and more about the act of writing. By the end of the month I find myself seeing what is extraordinary in things that were once ordinary, and in those moments I see myself as a writer living a writerly life.
Maya- thank you so much for the feedback! I know you’re right, the act is more important than perfection. I will keep that in mind as I go forward. And thanks for your note to Mom. She may never come around to accepting that title, but I hope she will recognize how important this process is, and that there is value in self-expression, however unpopular it may be. I am going to take on the daily blogging challenge for March, too. See what I’m made of! Much love to you, Maya. You’re a source of inspiration.
KEEP IT UP!! I love your style of writing. This endeavor is all about you stretching your writing muscles. Have fun! That is what is all about. Oh yeah, and I am super proud of you for going for it.
Thanks, babe! I am ready to use some of those muscles to promote your biz, too! Let’s make a date soon to discuss!